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Losing Dr. H

Dr. Henderson III

I really like to read posts from the blog of nivaladiva.  I’ve been reading every one of her posts from my iPhone lately and wait for them patiently.   :o   I have only a couple of really fun things that I look forward to in my daily life and I wanted her to know that one of them is seeing nivaladiva or Riding Bitch post alerts on my phone.  It really makes my day and I look forward to them.  So, thought I should let her know that because, sometimes, we feel as though we’re writing for ourselves and tend to forget that people actually appreciate our posts let alone look forward to them.

Just this past week, one of my “friends”, (my doctor, actually), committed suicide.  It hit me really, really hard.  I didn’t realize how hard until I had to go to his Memorial/funeral.  My whole last week has been in a daze and I will write about that more when it isn’t so raw.  But, while I was in this hazy, foggy mess, I kept on reading people’s writing and tried to keep my head above sea level while attending to the regular, mundane tasks of daily life.  My two daughters and my wonderful hubby and parents helped but, for some reason, I just couldn’t shake it.

I love her idea of Kaizen.  I feel as though I am making small, simple strides back to “normalcy”.  I just couldn’t believe that someone that I knew so well could be hurting so much.  I also couldn’t believe that someone would take for granted something so precious…life, itself.  But, I am slowly understanding his thinking (however wrong) about his life, his patients, his work, his family and his purpose. 

I believe that it takes all kinds to make a world and we all have a purpose here whether we understand it or not.  I know that it will take me some more time to come to grips with all that has happened this past several days but I really love the idea of Kaizen (“Change” for “Good”) and making small steps toward — whatever it is that we are moving toward. 

For some, it may be toward their goal, others it may be toward their purpose in life, and for me, right now, it is toward “normal” again.  

Have you ever lost someone close to you?  How did you regain your self and your normal life? 

Ciao for now, Shawn

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