“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.”
I was talking to “hypersensationalism” and discussing friends of ours that have passed away recently. I thought came to my mind. I shared it with them and I would like to share this quote above with you…
This is a famous quote (one of my very, very favorites!!) from “Illusions” by Richard Bach (who also wrote Jonathan Livingston Seagull way back in, like, the 70′s or something.) It kind of conveys what I’m thinking. Let me know if it touches you, too.
This hits me hard. We have some true, true friends that we spend some holidays with that are not true “family” by blood but we have known them for about 15 years and our kids have grown up together. I don’t know what I would do without these people in my life and I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to them or their kids. I feel closer to them than most people.
When you read this quote, what do you think? Who do you immediately think of? Do they KNOW that you feel this deeply about them? If not, why don’t you take today and tell them, let them know?
Life is short, my friend. It may change your life to let someone know that you consider them to be your true family. Family is more than just best friends, it’s a stronger bond that can’t be faked. You know who they are, so think about it. Let them know and then come back and tell me how it went.
Ciao for now,
P.S. And, a big thank you to my friend, hypersensationalism, for getting me to jot it down.
One year ago, my cousin, Stephanie, died of breast cancer. We had no idea that she had it, no idea that she was ill. It spread from her breast to her liver and there were so many complications so quickly that she got worse and ended up in a medically-induced coma. I remember holding her hand and talking to her like she could hear everything that I said but I don’t know if she could, really. I’m assuming that she heard me when I told her, comically, that it was the first time that I could talk without her interrupting me and that, if she could, I wouldn’t be able to finish a sentence without her laughing with that contagious laugh of hers or her interrupting me before I finished the story.
I remember a lot from those hours in the hospital. It was very difficult for me and I won’t go into much about that part of it because this is for Steph. I’m remembering her. When I was about 2-years-old, my older sister got really ill at 4-years-old. For the next six years, she spent quite a lot of time (with my mother by her side) in hospitals, medical centers, and the like. She passed away at the age of 10 and there is quite a lot to be said about that; however, seeing my little cousin (about 42-years-old?) in a hospital bed in a coma with numerous I.V’s and tubes and bruises and all, well, it brought back a lot of memories and it made me feel like vomiting even though I pushed on and tried to be strong.
My parents and I went to visit her. My cousin, (her sister), had called and told me that if we wanted to see her, we’d better make the trip and come. I could tell in her voice that she meant, “Come now”. So, we did. It was really hard to be an adult even though I’m nearly fifty now. I guess that whenever we are with our parents and older relatives, we tend to fall back into our role and I felt like a little kid going into the hospital. But, I tried to be cool and quiet for everyone else.
I couldn’t believe when someone told me the other day that it had been a whole year since Steph died. This year went very, very quickly. The week after Steph passed away, my neighbor (who I considered a friend), passed away from breast cancer, too. So, it was kind of a double-whammy for me. Both gone for almost a year now.
Life goes so quickly. Don’t take any moment for granted. Experience things you never thought you would. Try new things that you were always afraid of because you never know until you try. I’m going to try three new things and write about them here. Why don’t you do the same. Think of things that you always wanted to do but never took the time…imagine getting over a silly fear by doing something that you never have…Allow yourself some freedom and some joy and try something that you remember as being a joyful experience when you were young and then do it again.
Let me know if you do these things. I will get back to you all in three later posts. Always wanted to do, overcoming a silly fear and doing it, and allowing myself to experience true joy again… What a thought.
Can you do these three things? Will you post back to me afterward? Time is passing… Will you try?
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss
I imagine that this makes sense… I will try to internalize it. Thank you, Dr. Seuss!
I really like to read posts from the blog of nivaladiva. I’ve been reading every one of her posts from my iPhone lately and wait for them patiently. I have only a couple of really fun things that I look forward to in my daily life and I wanted her to know that one of them is seeing nivaladiva or Riding Bitch post alerts on my phone. It really makes my day and I look forward to them. So, thought I should let her know that because, sometimes, we feel as though we’re writing for ourselves and tend to forget that people actually appreciate our posts let alone look forward to them.
Just this past week, one of my “friends”, (my doctor, actually), committed suicide. It hit me really, really hard. I didn’t realize how hard until I had to go to his Memorial/funeral. My whole last week has been in a daze and I will write about that more when it isn’t so raw. But, while I was in this hazy, foggy mess, I kept on reading people’s writing and tried to keep my head above sea level while attending to the regular, mundane tasks of daily life. My two daughters and my wonderful hubby and parents helped but, for some reason, I just couldn’t shake it.
I love her idea of Kaizen. I feel as though I am making small, simple strides back to “normalcy”. I just couldn’t believe that someone that I knew so well could be hurting so much. I also couldn’t believe that someone would take for granted something so precious…life, itself. But, I am slowly understanding his thinking (however wrong) about his life, his patients, his work, his family and his purpose.
I believe that it takes all kinds to make a world and we all have a purpose here whether we understand it or not. I know that it will take me some more time to come to grips with all that has happened this past several days but I really love the idea of Kaizen (“Change” for “Good”) and making small steps toward — whatever it is that we are moving toward.
For some, it may be toward their goal, others it may be toward their purpose in life, and for me, right now, it is toward “normal” again.
Have you ever lost someone close to you? How did you regain your self and your normal life?
Ciao for now, Shawn